HOG Chapter 9

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Chapter 9

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Edited by AlexPT

 

 

It’s essential to gas up before going onto the expressway. If you come by another entrance onto the expressway, you can even skip paying a toll fee.

The dark blue Ford belonged to Xu Zhexi’s lover, and it was not a model that young women may like. At first glance, the name sounded masculine, but he found Xu Zhexi’s photo in the sun visor.. Perhaps the car belonged to his lover’s brother.  

As he mentioned needing a car while chatting yesterday, the pretty youth generously offered his car right there and then, and brought the car over the next day. The only condition was that he needed to fully refuel before returning it.

Even though the cost of gas was not low, he would work as a tutor when he did not have any classes. The reason for his diligence was to meet that person, no matter his sacrifices.

There was no traffic in the morning, Jiang Pozhen had driven for more than an hour, and took the exit to Hsinchu.

Fifteen minutes later, he stopped in front of the entrance to a courtyard.

This Saturday wasn’t an off day. Once noon arrived, people coming off work walked out like schools of fishes. Jiang Pozhen found his target with just a look. He drove his car towards him, gliding to his side and honked twice.

Dressed in a suit, Guo Jinshan was conversing with his colleagues when he turned around after hearing the car horn. It took him a moment to discover Jiang Pozhen.

“You…” He blinked, shocked.

“I came to fetch you,” Jiang Pozhen said while rolling the window down.

Hearing that, Guo Jinshan paused. He first waved his colleagues off, then opened the car door and got in.

Putting the seatbelt on, he hesitated a little but still said, “You don’t have to come every week.”

Jiang Pozhen waited for him to sit properly before steering the wheel, “You don’t want to see me?”

Guo Jinshan didn’t continue.

Jiang Pozhen turned and looked at his reticence, unhappy.

“There aren’t that many classes as a third year student, so I won’t have any problems. Or would you like me to show you my report card?” In actual fact, he was even planning to apply for a scholarship for his gas fund. Of course, this was not worth mentioning. 

“… I don’t have a choice, since you’re here,” He murmured.

“Hmm?” Guo Jinshan tilted his head, not able to hear Jiang Pozhen’s murmur clearly.

“It’s nothing. Are you heading straight home?”

“Oh…yes.” Guo Jinshan nodded.

“Can I stay over again?” Jiang Pozhen asked, clearly knowing the answer.

Ever since the first time he came here looking for Guo Jinshan, he would always stay over as his ‘junior’.

Unlike before, this time, Guo Jinshan lowered his gaze and hesitated for a long time until Jiang Pozhen thought that he would refuse him.

“…Ok.” Finally, he softly agreed.

Jiang Pozhen breathed a sigh of release, glancing at him and pressed down on the pedal firmly. He could not be any more familiar with the drive from Guo Jinshan’s company to his home.

After arriving and parking the car, Guo Jinshan took his keys out of his briefcase and opened the door. This was a thirty-year old apartment. As it was a distance away from the city, the land here was not expensive, and its selling point was its peacefulness. 

Following Guo Jinshan, Jiang Pozhen entered. “Nobody’s home?”

He knew that Guo Jinshan lived with his parents and a little sister who was a lot younger. Every time he came, he would see them around., They were very friendly and warm,, a family that was easy to get along with.

Guo Jinshan hesitated slightly. “That’s right.”

“Oh.” Jiang Pozhen had a niggling feeling that Guo Jinshan’s attitude was strange. He sat down in the living room, lazily stretching his legs.

Guo Jinshan took off his business jacket, then walked out of the room and poured a cup of iced barley tea for Jiang Pozhen.

“If you’re bored, you can watch TV. I’ll cook lunch.”

“You’ll cook?” Jiang Pozhen stared expectantly at him.

“Yes. But…it may not be good, you…:”

“I’ll wait.” Jiang Pozhen picked up the controller and switched on the TV.

Guo Jinshan dithered a while, then slowly entered the kitchen.

Jiang Pozhen sat at the rattan chair, positioning himself at an angle so as to peek into the kitchen. The love-hate disputes from the local soapbox drama noisily blared on the TV screen, but his line of sight never strayed from Guo Jinshan’s back, who had his sleeves rolled up.

Half an hour later, Guo Jinshan laid out the dishes on the table.

Jiang Pozhen had long sat down at the table. Taking the cutlery from the man, he looked at the dishes and said unthinkingly, “These are all my favourite dishes.”

“Ah, you’ve always eaten these when you visit, so I thought you might like—”

Because of Jiang Pozhen’s extremely direct gaze, Guo Jinshan hurriedly stopped.

Jiang Pozhen looked away, looking unbothered. “Every time I’m here, I’ve only had auntie’s cooking, and I never thought that you also knew how to cook. You’re really amazing.”

“…I’d always lived alone during university and in the research institute. These are just some simple dishes, it’s nothing, really.”

“They’re delicious,” Jiang Pozhen spoke truthfully as he picked up a piece of sliced meat and cabbage.

He then saw Guo Jinshan’s smile as he ducked his head and quietly ate.

Finishing his meal, Jiang Pozhen willingly took up the duty of washing the dishes as a gesture of thanks. Even though Guo Jinshan said there was no need, he still half pushed, and half chased him out.

After washing them, he saw Guo Jinshan sitting at the rocking chair on the balcony, gently rocking.

Jiang Pozhen walked towards him and saw that he had his hands on his thighs with his eyes closed. It seemed as though he was tired from work, and thus fell asleep. Although Jiang Pozhen wanted to help take off his uncomfortable looking glasses, it would be too disrupting.

Unconsciously shifting his gaze to the undone buttons of his shirt, Jiang Pozhen almost reached out to touch him. Restraining himself by pressing his temples, he grabbed a stool and sat opposite Guo Jinshan.

Not seeing him for just a week was already enough to make him go crazy from longing.

He wanted to carefully look at this person to his heart’s content.

Those closed eyelids were starting to twitch, a sign of him starting to wake.

The man opened his eyes and blinked blearily. His sight paused at a point then started to move, finally stopping at his direction. When their gazes met, he froze completely. Seeing Guo Jinshan’s shocked and blushing face, Jiang Pozhen couldn’t help but feel fascinated, as if the reason he was waiting for was this exact moment.

“Slept enough?” He opened his mouth.

“Ah…” Guo Jinshan blanked for a moment. The sky outside was already turning twilight, and he hurriedly looked at the wall clock, surprised that he had slept the whole afternoon. “Ah, sorry…you’re a guest but I… I was too discourteous.”

Jiang Pozhen furrowed his brows, “Why are you apologizing?”

“Because…you must have been really bored.”

There was no one at home today. During his previous visits, he had always spent the entire afternoon chatting with Guo Jinshan’s family.

“It’s alright.” Jiang Pozhen laughed, “I’m satisfied just with looking at your sleeping face.”

“Eh? You…you were looking at my sleeping…” Guo Jinshan repeated in disbelief.

“Yes, right from the very beginning,” Jiang Pozhen emphasised mischievously.

Guo Jinshan ducked his head, his ears turning red with embarrassment.

“You… were joking right?”

Jiang Pozhen suddenly lowered his voice, “I don’t think this is something to joke about.”

“My sleeping face… it’s nothing nice to look at.” Guo Jinshan said, embarrassed.

“But I want to look at it.”

Hearing this, Guo Jinshan covered his mouth as if he couldn’t take it, and sighed, “Please don’t mock me.”

Jiang Pozhen stared at him. Suddenly he stood up, looking around him while changing the topic, “It’s already past 6, why hasn’t anyone come home?”

Guo Jinshan flinched, then stammered, “Umm, umm… Actually, my dad, mom, and sister went to the south for a trip…so … today…”

Jiang Pozhen heard and stopped, then inclined his head, surprised, “There’s only us here today?”

“Ye…yes.” Guo Jinshan hurriedly explained, “Sorry, I thought you wouldn’t like it, so I didn’t mention it… There wasn’t any other reason behind it.”

“Why wouldn’t I like that?” Jiang Pozhen didn’t understand.

“…Don’t you dislike it, being with me alone?”

Because you had always force yourself to be with me, Guo Jinshan’s awkward expression seemed to say.

Logically Jiang Pozhen understood what Guo Jinshan meant. However, his head was filled with the thoughts that the both of them would be alone together tonight. Gazing at Guo Jinshan’s worried face, he was only concerned with how he looked with just his pajamas.

… No, he wasn’t an impulsive youth in the throes of puberty.

Jiang Pozhen rubbed his forehead in vexation, only speaking a good while later.

“You… It’s better if I went out for a while.” If he didn’t take the time to cool down, he won’t be able to face him anymore.

Jiang Pozhen stepped out of Guo Jinshan’s home, without a clue as to where to go. Since the two of them hadn’t had dinner yet, he decided to drive over to that well-known night market to bring back something to eat.

There were a lot of people queuing on this weekend night. Jiang Pozhen could only get some spring rolls, and then some noodles with meatballs. Before he left, he found a stall selling steamed cakes. Although he wasn’t interested in sweets, he thought that Guo Jinshan might like them, so he bought that as well.

Returning to Guo Jinshan’s home with bags full of food, it was already 7.30pm after parking the car. While noting  that the weather was starting to get colder, he rang the doorbell.

The doorbell, an old-fashioned chirping of birds, rang. After a few seconds of silence, Jiang Pozhen first heard footsteps on the wooden flooring, and then the door opened right after.

Guo Jinshan’s harried face appeared in view. Jiang Pozhen stood at the entrance, observing that he was calming down after affirming his presence.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

Guo Jinshan lowered his eyes.” It’s…it’s just, I thought… You won’t come back.”

“Why?” As the question left his mouth, Jiang Pozhen soon understood as he gazed at the man’s lonely expression. 

“I just went out to get us some dinner.” He said softly, raising his arms to show the bags as evidence.

“Really… I’ve troubled you. Thank you.” Guo Jinshan’s smile gradually appeared.

“It’s nothing.”

Jiang Pozhen only wanted to see his smile while happily eating, just like in the afternoon when Guo Jinshan smiled with his face flushed because he praised his cooking. However, during dinner, there was only silence from the man sitting in front of him.

Finished, Guo Jinshan mentioned he was tired, so he showered and then went into his room and slept.

Jiang Pozhen stood in front of the humid bathroom, his body heating up with just the thought that Guo Jinshan was in this very room just now, unclothed. He quickly showered and changed into a clean t-shirt. With the towel hanging over his shoulders, he dried his hair while entering the living room.

A room without any lights on, and only the tick-tock of the clock could be heard.

He subconsciously glanced at Guo Jinshan’s bedroom door. He was only a few steps away from it, with a door as a barrier, so why did he feel that he was miles away?

In this house tonight, there was only himself and Guo Jinshan. His entire body suffused with heat upon this realisation. 

Stepping towards that wooden door, he knocked with no hesitation.

“You’re still awake right?” Jiang Pozhen had sufficient reasons to be skeptical that a guy who slept an entire afternoon was asleep now.

There was no noticeable movement behind the door.

Jiang Pozhen grasped the handle, warning lowly, “I don’t care if you’re awake or asleep, I’m coming in.” With that said, he turned the handle and opened the door, thrilled that it wasn’t locked.

It was because Guo Jinshan would have never thought that he would break into the room, he thought wryly.

In the room, remnants of light shone in from the window. He looked towards the bunched up covers, closing the door behind him. Then he walked towards the bed, and softly said, “I don’t feel like sleeping on the floor today.” Usually, he would set up blankets on the floor in the living room and sleep there.

Although Guo Jinshan’s parents always felt apologetic and hoped that he would sleep in Guo Jinshan’s room, for Jiang Pozhen, it was torture instead.

Guo Jinshan probably thought that Jiang Pozhen hated to be with him alone and so chose to sleep in the living room. If only he knew the few times he went out of the room to get water in the middle of the night, how Jiang Pozhen would impulsively come up with ideas of what to do with him, Guo Jinshan would definitely remember to dutifully lock his door. Jiang Pozhen went ahead, bringing a knee up towards the bed.

The bed dipped downwards, Guo Jinshan who was pretending to be asleep finally sat up in shock and flipped the covers down.

“Hold, hold on…”

Jiang Pozhen caught his arm, then embraced him from the back. Following that, he flipped them around, pushing Guo Jinshan on to the bed. The man nervously struggled, but Jiang Pozhen only grabbed onto his waist and pulled him towards himself forcibly.

“…Don’t move.” With his lips gently touching the back of the man’s slightly sweaty neck, Jiang Pozhen lowly warned. “I won’t do anything to you… But, if you continue moving like this, I won’t be able to guarantee that.”

Guo Jinshan visibly froze, desperately tucking his chin in as a way to protest.

“You hate that I’m embracing you?” Jiang Pozhen asked softly, leaning into Guo Jinshan’s back.

He couldn’t see Guo Jinshan’s expression, but he could feel the cold rejection coming from him.

“…Why…” Facing the wall, the man paused for a long while, before he weakly voiced out again. “Why… would you …do this…”

“Yeah, why?” Jiang Pozhen asked himself in derision. His upper body stuck closely to the other’s back, as if they were merging into one body. It was only through this way could he feel satisfied. He murmured, “… Did you never think about it? The reason why I’m here, the reason why I’m embracing you, the reason why I visit you every week… Have you never really thought about it at least once?”

“…I did … I thought about it so many times,” Guo Jinshan murmured back.

Hearing that, Jiang Pozhen suddenly turned him over. 

“Then why are you still running away?” Staring into Guo Jinshan’s eyes, he accused him with a hint of anger. “Look at me! Is what I’m doing not enough? If you didn’t hear me clearly, I can repeat as many times as you want until you understand fully!”

Guo Jinshan was trapped between Jiang Pozhen and the mattress with no possibility of escape, and  Jiang Pozhen’s forthright gaze made the captive him give up all unnecessary resistance. He could only sigh, and tiredly said with an averted gaze, “You… If… you didn’t know my feelings about you… Then, you definitely won’t change like this… So, I…”

“So you thought that you need to assume all responsibility? So you feel that it would be better if I were together with a girl?” Jiang Pozhen looked at him, frustrated.. Guo Jinshan’s silence, as though he was in agreement, made him laugh bitterly.

Jiang Pozhen too was unclear how his feelings had changed, as well as when it became this rooted within him. He only knew that these feelings could make one uncontrollably heartbroken, and even if there was a way to find an explanation for it, it would still be engraved into his bones, with no way to get rid of it.

He just craved it. He craved Guo Jinshan’s love and care for him. Besides him, no one else could provide him with the same thing, and no one else could replace him.

Staring at him, Jiang Pozhen could only ask, “Do you like me?”

Guo Jinshan was stunned upon hearing that. He didn’t immediately respond, only his downturned face trembled without end.

“You do like me.” Although he could feel it, but being pushed away and with no way of getting closer, and even after telling himself that he didn’t need verbal confirmation, Jiang Pozhen still felt unpleasant. He wanted to hold onto Guo Jinshan, and never let go, as if he would disappear the next moment.

Guo Jinshan seemed to sigh. Pursing his lips, he finally said in a trembling voice, “You… Are you teasing me? Exactly, how many times must I say…”

A gentle yet weeping voice laced with inescapable disapproval complained into his ear. Although it was not a direct answer that he wished for, Jiang Pozhen was nevertheless thrilled to pieces.

“Teasing you?” He repeated hoarsely, burying his face into Guo Jinshan’s shoulder. Moderating his breathing, he slowly spoke, “… Do you know what I’ve been thinking about? Here, in your home, on your bed, embracing you like this. Even if Uncle and Auntie come back now to find us like this, I don’t feel guilty at all. My motive in getting close to them was to snatch away their son whom they have raised and protected for years. Even if I betrayed the trust given to me by your parents, I won’t feel a shred of guilt.”

Guo Jinshan’s expression became complicated, he could only close his eyes dismally.

“You… Why would you say that?”

Because it was his true feelings. Jiang Pozhen said lowly, “Even if you’re not willing to say it out loud, you can’t lie to me. Just by looking at your face… I can tell just how much you like me.” His long fingers were like feathers, going back and forth caressing Guo Jinshan’s face.

As if in reaction to his gentle touch filled with love, Guo Jinshan shivered. With such a close distance, even the flutter of his eyelashes could be seen clearly.

“I…”

“As long as you love me, my eyes will only be filled with you.”

As though keeping his promise, Jiang Pozhen pressed his lips to Guo Jinshan’s trembling throat as proof.

“What are you doing…” Guo Jinshan wanted to back away, but the grip around his waist prevented him from doing so.

The collar of Guo Jinshan’s sleepwear was low. Even if it was buttoned up, there would still be some skin exposed. Because of his kisses, Jiang Pozhen could not endure anymore, reaching out to spread Guo Jinshan’s shirt open further, murmuring, “… This place is very alluring.”

He kissed that narrow collarbone, feeling Guo Jinshan’s heartbeat speeding up because of him.

This man, after showering, carried the same scent of soap as him on his body.. In a moment of uncontrollable lust, he sucked Guo Jinshan’s skin, his right hand dipping into his shirt from his waist, fingers caressing the peaks of his flat chest. The other’s shocked shiver almost caused him to lose his reason, but he quickly grabbed onto it.

“W-wait, don’t… do that!” Guo Jinshan pushed away his hands, clutching his opened shirt close.

Jiang Pozhen raised his head and looked at him. The man didn’t realise that the corners of his eyes were wet, his teary eyes filled with panic from being teased.

“…Sorry.” He honestly apologised, because he had promised before that he wouldn’t do anything. He did not want the other man to feel that he did not have integrity. Even if he regretted it, he still had to calm himself down. “But, I really do want this.” This aching lust would not appear if it were just an illusion. If Guo Jinshan still had a shred of suspicion about him, his own body would be the most resounding proof.

The honesty in the depths of his eyes caused Guo Jinshan to gaze at him for a long time. Then, troubled and hesitant, he patted Jiang Pozhen’s head to comfort him. Speaking in a low and soft voice, he said, very embarrassed, “I didn’t mean it like that… I never did this before… so, I’m not used to it.”

Although Jiang Pozhen had never thought of himself as someone conservative, hearing Guo Jinshan said that, he felt an inexplicable sense of satisfaction.

It turned out that once he fell in genuine love, his possessiveness could be so intense that he was shocked by its extent.

Jiang Pozhen squeezed Guo Jinshan’s waist, greedily inhaling his scent.

They could go slow to accustom his unfamiliarity, as long as he didn’t leave him. If he were to disappear, he would definitely lose his mind. His insecurity was like a pile of sand. As it piled up, it would collapse when it reached its limit.

Closing his eyes as if in prayer, Jiang Pozhen murmured, “Today, when you left work, I didn’t recognise the colleagues beside you.”

Guo Jinshan did not understand his implication, so he listened on.

“I have seen you dressed in a suit many times, yet it still feels so foreign… My birthday is next week, the cake you gave me last year was very delicious, but this year I have a request for my gift..”

“…What is it?”

“Please return to a place where I can see you..”

Afterwards, Jiang Pozhen high handedly hugged Guo Jinshan to sleep the entire night. The next day, he brought him to the outskirts to play. Although the atmosphere around them was amiable, until they got into the car to go back to Taipei, Guo Jinshan had yet to respond to last night’s request.

Jiang Pozhen had never thought that he could be unreasonable. Even if he was to be considered childish, immature, or irrational, he only had that one desire.

It had nearly been half a year since graduation in June till now. Despite visiting Guo Jinshan every week, he still felt unbearably unfulfilled. As he was still a student, he did not have as much freedom. But he knew that Guo Jinshan did not have to work at that location.

When he was chatting with Auntie and Uncle, they mentioned that Guo Jinshan had an opportunity to transfer. It was just that at that time, he didn’t want to return.

Guo Jinshan had previously praised him as a man who used actions instead of words to express himself; it was because he felt that words were easier than actions. If there was no action, any words said would just be futile.

Thus, he wished Guo Jinshan would understand Jiang Pozhen’s need for him through his actions.

He would not waste any moment to be upset about how he had lost him, but no matter how long it would take, he would never give up.

His classes in the afternoon were suspended. Jiang Pozhen was free after 2pm.

While wondering what he could do, he went down the stairs. Before exiting the building, he saw a delicate young woman waiting by the advertisement board.

Jiang Pozhen paused momentarily, before continuing on.

As he bypassed her, the woman suddenly called out to him in an accusatory tone, “Pozhen, are you going to pretend not to see me?”

Jiang Pozhen stopped and turned his head to look at her.

“It was you who started it.”

The alluring young woman was his ex-girlfriend, Wan Ling. They broke up in his second year, and for a period of time, they never contacted each other. After entering his third year, he unexpectedly saw her on the campus. Apparently, her new boyfriend was a senior from his faculty. From that moment on, she would frequently appear around the faculty. Although there were a few times they walked past each other, she had never once glanced at him.

Probably because he was too harsh when they broke up, it was understandable for her to have this reaction.

However, after a few times, he gradually had the sense that she was doing it on purpose.

Deliberately getting a new boyfriend from his faculty, deliberately strutting in front of him, it was all just to get his attention.

“I have something to say to you,”  Wan Ling grabbed his hand and said coyly.

Jiang Pozhen silently sighed, asking coolly, “Are you thinking of getting back together?”

Without an ounce of shame or humility, Wan Ling admitted to her intentions honestly.

“After dating another person, I found that being with you is still the best.”

He contemplated the pretty woman in front of him with slight ridiculousness. She had confidence and the attractiveness to match it. Because she had always aimed for better, she never valued the people around her. After searching around, she thought of coming back to him, yet had never asked if he had saved a spot for her. Furthermore, the poor senior who was used by her had been thrown away like a spare tire that had reached its end of life.

She was still as self-entitled as ever.

Jiang Pozhen pulled back his arm, his voice gravelly, “I already have someone.” He existed deep within his heart, filling up any and all the gaps.

“Is that so? They’re better than me?” Wan Ling immediately refuted, unconvinced.

“It doesn’t matter who is better than the other.”

“How can it not matter? How would you know if you don’t compare? Who would like a person with faults?”

Jiang Pozhen became serious, said, “ Even if they have faults, I still only want them.”

Wan Ling was astonished after hearing that. As if intimidated by his gaze, she was unable to refute further.

“You… What are you saying? Who do you think you are, a lovesick fool? You’re just like  an idiot!”

Jiang Pozhen did not mind her belittling him, It would be for the best that she found no value in him at all.

“It was already over between us.” He hoped that she would understand his direct reply. He did not hate her, yet he also did not feel anything for her.

Wan Ling bit her lips, then suddenly turned and ran up towards the stairs.

Jiang Pozhen assumed that she would probably find the senior or anyone who took a liking to her. With her qualities, he wasn’t worried that she wouldn’t be able to find comfort in someone. It was definitely because she was unsatisfied that he had no reaction towards her these days, that she would irrationally come up with the idea to get back together.

There wasn’t any twinkle in her eyes when she looked at him. It was not a look one would have when gazing at someone they were truly in love with.

If she truly liked him, that pair of eyes should have been gentler, more focused and more passionate… just like how Guo Jinshan looked at him.

That feeling, as long as he reflected on it, he would feel his heart warming up.

Today was his birthday, and he wished to see him and hear his voice.

It was his heart’s desire, but today wasn’t a holiday. He still had school tomorrow. If he were to go hastily, he could bring trouble to Guo Jinshan. In the end, it was better to wait till the weekend. That man who was usually mellow could be unexpectedly stubborn in certain areas. If he could just be as willful as a child… Jiang Pozhen was a bit chagrined at these thoughts of his. Because Guo Jinshan was older than him, sometimes he would still accidentally want to be willful.

Jiang Pozhen smiled wryly, then slowly turned serious.

He would not regret it. If he were to worry about his own maturity or his other faults, he would not obtain anything.

Leaving the department, as he raised his gaze, he suddenly saw the person who he had just fantasised about standing at the entrance in a suit!

For a moment, he thought he was mistaken. Jiang Pozhen could only look at the person, astonished, unable to utter a word.

“How are you…” What about his office? His job? The man who left and never came back, where Jiang Pozhen could only visit him every Saturday, it was not possible that he was here.

Guo Jinshan was a bit bewildered at first, only coming back to focus when Jiang Pozhen spoke up and hastily said, “I took leave for half a day…” As if he didn’t know how to explain, his explanation quickly spilled out, “I, I ordered a cake. Because it may spoil, I’ll collect it later… No, uh… happy birthday.”

As he listened to his ramblings, Jiang Pozhen was completely floored.

He carried his briefcase, without changing out of his suit. His office ID was still hanging around his neck and he just came like that? Jiang Pozhen looked at Guo Jinshan unblinkingly, something inside him uncontrollably bursting to the brim. He quickly lowered his head, pressing a hand to his face, immediately shaking his shoulders as he laughed out loud as a way to mask his actual emotions.

He had never known he was this weak. Guo Jinshan’s appearance almost made him unable to contain his tears.

Could it be that him coming here means that he could finally start to actually have him?

… He could no longer endure it anymore.

“Come with me.” Jiang Pozhen stretched out his arm, grabbing Guo Jinshan’s shoulder and leading him to a deserted toilet in the department building. He pulled the confused man into a cubicle and flicked the lock. With the two of them, the small cubicle felt even tinier. He murmured, “Although the location is quite horrendous… but it’s the only place without any onlookers.”

“Hmm?” Guo Jinshan startled, then immediately blushed due to their close proximity.

“You cannot blame me,” Jiang Pozhen sighed deeply. Who asked Guo Jinshan to have such a cute expression, which was enough to make him lose control. “If you want to celebrate my birthday… I want to make another wish.” He circled the man’s shoulders, gazing down at him.

Because they were too close, Guo Jinshan inexplicably gasped.

“Wh-what?”

“I want to kiss you.” Just like making an announcement, once it was over, Jiang Pozhen’s lips covered his own.

At first, there was just a light graze. As his desire quickly deepened into a bottomless hole, Jiang Pozhen slipped a hand under Guo Jinshan’s shirt, pulling it out from his pants and then caressed his skin.

The other’s temperature instantly jumped up, his heated skin like a sigh of the most straightforward temptation. His fingers wandered over his back, going up along his spine and reaching the back of his neck while Jiang Pozhen’s other hand rested on the man’s tie.

“Every time I see you tying your tie, I just want to undo it…” Smoothly ripping off the hindering fabric, Jiang Pozhen then unbuttoned his prim shirt. He clung to Guo Jinshan’s lips, gently raising his clean-shaven jaw, positioning him at a more comfortable angle and hoarsely murmured, “Open your mouth.”

Though Guo Jinshan listened and his lips parted slightly, he was acutely embarrassed. But that slight and hesitant opening was all Jiang Pozhen needed to enter.

Invading his moist and warm mouth, Jiang Pozhen’s reasoning disappeared completely. As if he wanted to seize everything, he repeatedly seduced Guo Jinshan’s inexperienced tongue to entangle with his own.

It was as though his overflowing emotions could be condensed into a physical form, and be transferred in this manner. However, that should still need some place far deeper…

The forceful kiss was too intense, and Guo Jinshan could not keep up. He could only press his back against the wall and try to regain his breath. The only reason he did not fall was due to Jiang Pozhen’s support. Although his body was listless and shivers wracked his frame, he was completely docile. Without any resistance or refusal, he let Jiang Pozhen kiss him intimately.

Jiang Pozhen pulled off his sweater and undershirt, nibbling down his neck, and sucking at his bare collarbone. Then he continued downwards, engulfing that tantalising nipple.

Guo Jinshan shuddered, taken aback. Though Jiang Pozhen felt his reaction, he couldn’t be bothered about anything else anymore.

Until they heard footsteps outside in the corridor, he truly wished that he could have taken Guo Jinshan right there and then.

“Someone’s…there…” Guo Jinshan finally resisted, pushing him away while stammering, his voice sounding almost broken.

Jiang Pozhen looked up, finally realising how absolutely disheveled Guo Jinshan looked due to his own actions. His originally pristine clothes were creased and bunched around his elbows, his moist lips were red and swollen, and his bangs had fallen onto his forehead. His bare chest and shoulders sported loads of red marks, even his gnarled scar from surgery exuded allure. His teary eyes looking lost, completely helpless yet embarrassed, gazed at him.

… If he looked into his gaze again, he would really be unable to stop.

He hugged Guo Jinshan, using his entire strength as if he wanted to absorb the other into his own body. He buried his face into Guo Jinshan’s shoulders and breathed roughly, having difficulty trying to regain control. Jiang Pozhen’s mind was blank.

As long as this man loved him, everything was fine. He did not give a thought about anything else. If there was a time where he had to make an ultimatum, he could give everything up.

His burning emotions had been pent up till their limit. There was only one simple and straightforward way left to let the other man understand.

Jiang Pozhen closed his eyes, then, spoke, “I love you.”

The man in his embrace stiffened, then lowered his forehead, gently touching Jiang Pozhen’s shoulders, preventing him from seeing his expression. He slowly raised his trembling arms to carefully hug him back, giving him his answer.

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